Mean Girls in the Church?

Bullying. It's all over the news. Suicides. Accidental deaths. Petitions. Required teacher training. Just yesterday, I read in the news that Facebook has even developed an application to allow users to reach out for help if they experience cyberbullying.

The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center reports 1 in 3 students are involved with bullying. Gender is not an issue. Girls are just as involved with bullying as boys are...yet their bullying strategies are very different.

Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

I was reminded of this verse as I read 1 Timothy 3 this morning. Listing requirements for deacons and overseers, while men are warned against violence and their tempers, women are warned against being malicious gossips. Titus 2 reflects similar instruction.

Sadly, "mean girls" aren't confined to high school, or even to secular places. I've heard some of the most caddy comments at events that were supposed to be honoring Christ. A few of the worst rumors I've ever heard have been shared as prayer requests.

I'll admit it - I'm far from perfect in this year. But God gave me one truth this morning that I feel I should share: Women who walk with Christ are our allies - not our enemies. It's that simple. It doesn't matter if she's a cheerleader and you're in the drama club...if you're married and she's not...or if you can't see past your flaws and she seems perfect. We are all on the same team.

Of course, we're different. 1 Corinthians 12 compares the body of Christ to our physical bodies. We are composed of many different parts, but we need each of them to function properly. One part of our body is no less important than another. Just the same, we need Christians with different abilities, personalities and purposes.

I love this challenge from Elisabeth Elliot: "The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman." As much as we may be different, the bottom line is that we are the same kind of different.

God, I don't want to say anything negative about a woman who is striving to life for you. Lord, allow me to see how you have crafted her to do Your will, and help me to appreciate her as You do. Father, even if she has wronged me, remind me of all the times I have failed others and failed You. Thank you for Your forgiveness and Your grace. Help me to be more like You.

I Support Breast Cancer Awareness.

A few posts ago, I told you about my reading resolution to read the Bible through in 2010 with a group of women. We are 12 days in, and it has been a huge blessing. The women in this group are all seeking to grow in their faith. I have been challenged, encouraged, lifted up, and convicted....and it hasn't even been 2 weeks yet! (If you are a female and reading this, click here to join. There's still time for you to catch up, and you will be so blessed!)

One godly woman and a dear friend of mine raised the question, "I realize in Abraham’s day it was very common for men to have concubines, however, is adultery not adultery? Why do you suppose Genesis makes no mention of Abraham’s relationships with other women, yet David’s adultery is such a big deal? Unless I haven’t gotten that far yet… it seems inconsistent."

An amazing woman of faith answered her: "I haven't researched this, but it won't stop me from giving my opinion. I think Abraham's relationship with Hagar was a pretty big deal. God didn't speak to him for 13 years after Ishmael was born. David also had multiple wives and concubines, but his adultery was a big deal because he took another man's wife as his own. I'm planning to look into this further, but it seems to me that all the problems with multiple wives outlined in the Bible clearly points to the benefits of monogamy! I mean seriously - after reading the account of the jealousy between Sarah and Hagar or Rachel and Leah would you ever want to be part of a family with more than one woman seeking the affection of her husband?"

Ann's wisdom stirred in my heart something I have been praying about posting for the past few days, so I figured it was time to share. In case you are not on Facebook, a few days ago, an inbox chain began where women we supposed to pass along only to other women. In an effort to show their support for breast cancer awareness, the message said to post the color of your bra as your Facebook status.

I know I am labeled as being "ultra conservative," but as I watched these colored Facebook statuses go up from everyone from eighth graders I used to baby-sit to Christian women I respect, I couldn't help but think, "What has happened to our boundaries?"

It seemed a bit off topic for today's Bible reading discussion, but nevertheless, here it goes:

Even if our husbands don't actively engage in relationships with other women, I don't know many women who haven't had to cope with either their husband's past, wandering eyes, or struggles with pornography. While the men may be the ones committing these sins against their wives, I think it's also fair to examine the judgement of the women they are lusting after.

I know I've only been married for a little over 18 months, but I learned within the first week of being married just how visual men are. I mean, I've heard it my entire life, but as soon as I got married, I witnessed it first hand. (Explain to me how my husband can be dead asleep, yet when I walk into the bedroom to retrieve my clothes after getting out of the shower, he's IMMEDIATELY wide awake and ready to go!)

As women, it's not only our job to protect the purity of our husbands, but also the purity of the other men in our lives. I'm just going to say it: When our Facebook status says, "Pink lace," it doesn't matter how discreet we think we are being, it's not just a Facebook status update. To a man, it's a visual image of a woman who is not his wife. James made efforts to stay off of Facebook for a few days to help keep his thoughts pure, and that's just how one godly man responded. I'm sure there are men out there who took that simple game as an open invitation.

That situation was a good reminder for me to remember how different males and females are and to be extra careful to protect the Christian brothers in my life. Just as women desire to be protected and loved, we need to protect men from impure thought lives in every way we have control over- even if it seems like it's just a cute, fun game in support of a good cause.

As someone who has struggled to keep a pure thought life, here's a verse that helps me when making decisions: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8).

Vashti: Called to Step Down?

The book of Esther introduces us to one woman before we meet the star of the story. Meet Vashti, the queen of Persia. We meet her in the midst of celebration. While King Ahauserus was having a party for the men in the kingdom, Vashti was hosting her own banquet for the women.

Ahauserus called to Vashti to come and dance for his crowd because he wanted to show off her beauty (Esther 1:11). However, Vashti refused. With one act, Vashti had not only broken the law of the land by disobeying the king, but she had defied the rule of the home by being defiant to her husband.

The king and his men gathered to discuss what her punishment should be. Quickly, the fear among them became that all women would follow the example of Vashti and begin going against their husbands. It appears all of Persia was affected by the example of the queen. The men made a quick decision to banish Vashti from her throne and seek another queen. Because of one decision the king did not like, Vashti’s royal position was up for grabs.

I'll admit. Whenever I've read Esther before, I've rushed through this part of the story. After all, the good part starts when my girl Esther comes on the scene. But this time...I've really had a hard time getting past Vashti. I've been asking myself one question over and over again.

Was Vashti wrong?

Maybe. She might have been wrong. Selfishly, she may have been having fun with her friends and just wanted to stay at her own party. But what if that wasn't her motive? What if her response was out of respect for herself and the created purpose of a woman?

After all, the king had requested that she come dance in front of him and all of his guests. Hear me out first. While I agree that wives are called to submit to their husbands, I also know that Vashti was a human being, created in God’s image. I don’t think complying to her husband’s demands to dance in front of him and his drunk friends (who would have nothing in their hearts for her but lust) sounds like the submission described in Scripture. Her courage to protect her dignity and purity would be admirable in this case.

On this earth, we may never know the motive behind Vashti’s actions. Scripture doesn't reveal her motive. However, from knowing the whole story of Esther, we can be sure of one thing. God didn’t need Vashti in place to save His people. He needed a Jew so He made arrangements to bring Esther into power.

But what about Vashti? She was banished into exhile in a world whee news of the deliverance of the Jews may have taken years to reach her...or may have never reached her at all. She couldn't check Esther's Facebook status update: "Just saved the Jewish nation. Guess God needed me to be queen for a reason!"

I wonder how Vashti must have felt. IF (and I stress the word IF)she did refuse the king's wishes out of spiritual conviction, how do you think it felt to be removed from your position of influence for doing the right thing? Was she bitter? Did she resent God, think He was unfair and reufse to trust Him again? Or did she know in her heart that God's plan was best, thank Him for the king choosing to banish her instead of kill her and praise Him from exhile?

I guess it's always been easier for me to relate to Esther because I've always prayed for God to use me like he used Esther. Since I read this story in elementary school, I've prayed for courage to step up. I've prayed for a position of influence so I could make a difference for him. Sure, Esther had to take risks, and she took some pretty hard knocks in life (death of both of her parents, being raised by her older cousin, etc.), but wouldn't the satisfaction of your obedience to God's plan for your life and the perks of being queen compensate for that?

Vashti's life has helped me recognize that God might not always call us to step up. Sometimes, He may call us to step down. God choosing to use someone else doesn't neccessarily mean that we did anything wrong. It just means that He knows what we cannot know. And even though it's definitely harder to accept stepping down, shouldn't we praise Him just the same for revealing Himself to a lost world...even if He uses someone else to do it?

As I have been wrestling with this, Steve Furtick, a pastor in North Carolina, eluded to this same idea with a Twitter post just last week. It simply said, "Motive check: What if God does everything you ask Him to do in your city, but He does it through someone else's ministry?" (Follow him by clicking here.)

This doesn't mean we shouldn't desire to be used like Esther. But it does mean that if instead, God calls us to step down like Vashti, we should praise him and trust Him just the same.

My prayers are different now. Instead of requesting favor, I'm asking for wisdom to trust Him in decision making. I don't want to doubt his response to my prayers. Sometimes, I will like His answer, but at other times, I'm sure I will not understand His choice. I want to fully grasp with my words and my actions that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, just as Isaiah 55:8-9 teaches.

My Mother's Day Reflection

Today is a day that I have been waiting to come for a long time. Before you get too excited - no, I'm not pregnant. But today is the day that I am delcaring victory over Satan and anorexia - once and for all.

Most people know that I struggled with a pretty serious case of anorexia for most of college. In April 2005, I admitted to my parents that I had a problem, and they supported me through an intense 1.5 year recovery/weight gain process. My parents' unconditional love was the push I needed to get back on the right track.

By June, I had finally gotten enough of a grasp on my eating and my parents agreed I was ready to move to Texas to begin my seminary degree - a huge leap of faith on their part.

For most of my life, I don't think people would have described me as a nurturer. I never really thought I had any of the "mommy" genes. In fact, when I moved to Texas, I was pretty convinced that God's plan for me did not include marriage or children. Coupled with the fact that I knew because of my eating disorder, getting pregnant would be difficult for me and the lack of desire in my heart to be a mom, it seemed logical that God would just want me to be focused on serving Him - not a husband or children.

Even as I shared this with people who asked, though, I still had a story that I couldn't quite shake from my mind...

The summer before 8th grade, I was putting together some family pictures, and I found some pictures of my mom from her young 20's. I'm not afraid to say it - my mom was hot. Terry McNatt did well for himself. Like me, my mom competed in pageants. She only competed at the state level (Miss Tennessee) one year because my dad proposed before she could compete again.

I showed her the picture, complimented her stunning beauty and asked her, "Do you ever wonder what could have happened if you had gone back to compete again?"

She shrugged. "Maybe for a little while...but as soon as we had you girls, I knew that maybe God had created me just for the purpose of being your mom. Someday, I might be a legacy because of you."

I don't think she realized how much those words impacted me. I realized in that moment that God would have to give me a personality transplant in order for me to be a good mother. I wanted the spotlight. I needed the approval of the world. In my mind, it would be failure to say that my life's purpose was for someone else to get the glory.

But "God's plan" (which was really more my plan all along) was completely ruined shortly after I moved to Texas and I met my husband.

James has all the characteristics you could ever want in a father. He's a strong leader, and he seeks the Lord in all areas of his life. He is a natural protector and provider. He leads with such humility that I knew from our first conversation that I wanted to be on his team for the rest of my life. I wanted this man calling the shots for me. And wait a second...I wanted to raise a family with him?

I realized then that I had a long way to go. Case and point? My mother. The definition of a servant, my mom always went above and beyond for me and my sister. We had every need met and most of our wants. Whether sitting at the table with us to make sure our homework was done or driving us to whatever activity of that season, she was always there. She worked as a teacher and came home to work again - dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc. She did every bit of it without complaining - so much that until I began managing my own house, I didn't recognize how hard she worked.

Not to mention, James and I had the additional pressure of my eating disorder looming over us. Sure, I was much better than I had been...but I still had foods that were "off limits." I was convinced if I ever ate them, I would instantly gain 50 lbs.

I remember one day in particular when I came home from teaching at the gym. James had gotten off work early, and he had made chicken tacos. I wasn't there to watch him make the chicken to make sure he hadn't cooked it in butter or anything, so even though I had just finished a tough workout, I insisted I wasn't very hungry. I found a can of tomato soup in the pantry and began heating it in the microwave.

James looked at me with sad eyes. He didn't raise his voice. He didn't get angry. He just said quietly, "You know, I can't marry you until you get this under control."

That was the beginning of Phase 2 of my recovery. There was an urgency there that didn't exist with my parents. My parents HAD to love me...but James didn't. As our relaitonship deepened, I knew I had to begin making some compromises and releasing some control to James over what I ate. It sounds silly, but I wasn't making the best decisions on my own, and I needed his help.

He didn't go to the opposite extreme - insisting that I eat cheeseburgers and greasy pizza every night. But we discovered that I liked pork tenderloin. He began making healthier choices - switching to whole wheat pasta, leaner cuts of meat, etc. I no longer feared eating what James cooked because I knew that he was on my team. He wanted me to be healthy, and he wanted me to be happy.

Through James' prayer and support, we mastered my compulsive nature. Most addictive behaviors consist of thoughts and compulsions. For example, I would have thoughts of how fat I was, and then my compulsive action would be to skip my next few meals. I still battled the thoughts and avoided mirrors to the best of my ability, but I knew that even if I had a bad day, I would never get back to the point of food restriction.

When James proposed, I thought that my relationship with food would never be healthier. I just came to the conclusion that this would always be the area where Satan would tempt me, but I was confident that through God's strength and my husband by my side, I would never walk that dangerous road again.

But immediately after thr ring went on my finger, the question changed from, "When do you think ya'll will get married?" to "When do you want to start having kids?"

Each time I was asked that question, guilt and shame would wash over me. Sure, maybe the person didn't know my history. Or maybe they didn't know that having an eating disorder like mine does plenty of irreversible damage to your reproductive system. But I always felt that fear lingering inside of me.

What if I can't give this amazing man the children that he deserves?

Over the past year, we've seen several of our couple friends become parents. It sparked conversations between us about the names of our children, adoption, and how our parents would handle being grandparents from a distance. We decided on at least one name for each sex.

Our little boy will be Noah, and our little girl is Storie.

It's become easy to pray for these little ones by name. For someone who didn't have a desire to be a mom until three years ago, I must be making up for lost time because I am already crazy in love with my kids...that aren't even on their way yet!

That's why today, on Mother's Day, I want to thank my precious Noah and Storie. Because though they aren't physically with us on this earth yet, they've done something that only God could orchestrate.

They've gotten their mother through her third and final phrase of her recovery from anorexia.

I never thought I would be able to go a day without making sure that my daily calorie intake was equivalent or less than my daily calories burned. I never thought I would be able to look in a mirror and see what everyone else sees when they look at me. I never thought I would ever experience a day of complete freedom of eating when I felt hungry and stopping when I was satisfied.

But over the past three or four months, I started a pattern. If I ever had an anorexic thought, I began praying for Noah and Storie. Seeing their sweet faces in my imagination just made me smile and put my mind where it needs to be - off of myself and on the responsibility of taking care of my family.

So this year, while I am not able to celebrate Mother's Day as a mom, I want to celebrate my precious Noah and Storie, who have helped their mother more than they'll ever know. I can't believe that I ever allowed myself to be so inward focused that I could ever think that raising a child was a wasteful legacy. I am eager to see how God uses the lives of Noah and Storie to do His work.

I don't know how I will be a mom - whether through natural birth or adoption - but for my children, I pray the prayer of Hannah.

"I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord."

(1 Samuel 1:26b-28)

I made HER.

I made HER…

I made her…she is different. She’s unique.

With love, I formed her in her mother’s womb.

I fashioned her with great joy.

I remember with great pleasure, the day I created her.

(Psalm 139:13-16)

I love her smile. I love her crazy ways. I love to hear her laugh.

I love the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure.

This is how I made her.

(Psalm 139:17)

I wanted her to search out her heart.

I wanted her to learn that it is ME in her that makes her beautiful…

And it is ME in her that others find precious.

(1 Peter 3:3-5)

I made her in such a way that she would need Me.

I make her a little more lonesome at times than she would like to be…

Only because I need for her to learn and depend on Me….

I know her heart, and I know if I had not made her like this,

She would go on her own chosen way and forget me…Her Creator.

(Psalm 62:5-8)

I love giving her things in her life that she enjoys,

And I protect her, even when she doesn’t know I’m there,

Because I love her.

(Psalm 84:11)

Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart.

The tears she thought she cried alone, I was there crying with her.

My heart was breaking too.

(Psalm 56:8)

Many times, she thought she stumbled and fell alone.

I was there, but she would not hold My Hand.

She learns so many lessons the hard way

Because so often, she refuses to listen to My voice…

(Isaiah 53:6)

So many times, I sit back

And sadly, I watch her go her merry way alone,

Only to have her, sad and broken, return to My open arms.

(Isaiah 62:2)

I am constantly reshaping her and molding her,

To renew her to the plans I have for her.

It hasn’t always been the easiest path.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

But I still want her conformed to My image…

I have set high goals for her,

Because I love her.

(II Corinthians 2:14)

I have gotten rid of everything she used to be,

And made her completely new.

(II Corinthians 5:17)

She thinks she knows what I have in store for her,

But my purpose is greater than she could ever imagine.

(Proverbs 19:21)

She has to wait on My timing,

But with Me by her side, she will soar above all of life’s storms.

(Isaiah 40:31)

But she is mine.

I bought her for a price much higher than she ever deserved.

And I did it gladly… Because I love her.

(Romans 5:8)

You won't find these translations of these Scripture verses anywhere else. I was introduced to this by a friend. I changed a few words from the original, and I have continued to add verses along as I read things in God's Word that directly speak to me. Personalizing His promises to me help me remember His Word. Please feel free to comment and add verses that speak to you that you think others will benefit from. (The picture on this post is me with my niece Katelyn. This was the first time we met.)

Because I Love You

Humbling moments. We all have them. Whether they come at the perfect time or couldn’t occur at a worse moment, it is in our most humble moments that we sometimes get the best perspective.

My latest humbling moment - and they DO happen frequently – took place this morning. This is going to be an extremely busy semester, and I’ve been trying to mentally prepare for it since around Thanksgiving. Frantically attempting to cram our crazy life into seven 24-hour days looked as jumbled in my planner as it felt in my mind.

Full-time job, pastor’s wife, seminary student, fitness coach…where does it all fit? Not to mention my husband’s insane schedule. James and I don’t even have kids in the mix (unless you count the 70+ in the college ministry), and we already feel time collapsing around us. I can hear the same advice I’ve heard from a million sources in my life echo in my head: “Your life will never be any easier than it is right now.”

That advice makes me sick to stomach.

I think I have equal respect and resentment for the women in my life who have modeled being a pastor’s wife well for me. How did they make it look effortless? As many times as I have seen this selfless life lived out through countless staff wives, (And as a pastor’s kid, I’ve even seen it in my own home), I never realized how challenging it is.

Most of them have full-time service-based jobs (teachers, nurses, secretaries, etc.), and come home to endless tasks including cooking, cleaning up after dinner, laundry, and helping kids with their homework. Maybe a couple in her husband’s ministry needs some counseling, so they might come over after the kids are asleep. Or she might cook a double recipe to take dinner to a church member who had a relative pass away. Finally, when her work is done, she lays down to sleep – only to get up the next day and do it all over again.

I never knew how exhausting it must have been for my mom to rush in from work, quickly change her clothes, and jump back in the car to take me wherever I needed to be next. I know there were a few times that I thanked her, but I know it wasn’t every time. Not even close.

I was sitting at my desk at work about to begin my next task when I saw I had a new email. It was from my mom, and the subject simply said: Because I love you! At the sight of my mom’s email address, I felt water form in my eyes. Speaking of incredible pastor’s wives, here’s the queen herself. I’m not sure that little girl in me will ever go away. My mother may have transitioned in my life to be one of my best friends, but she will still always be my mommy too.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the message and read:

My dear Michelle,

I know you and James are extremely busy right now. I wish I could just sneak in your house and clean it from top to bottom, get all the clothes washed and back in the closets and drawers, strip the bed and get fresh linens on it, go to the grocery store and get all your favorite foods and stock your refrigerator and pantry, gather up the trash and organize the garage, set the table and have the house filled with the aroma of a home cooked meal, fluff the pillows on the couch and have a bottled water sitting on the side table for both of you, have a few lamps lit and a candle burning and leave a note that reads, "Because I love you!"

Love,
Mom

My damp eyes turned to waterworks. Guilt washed over me as I realized the difference between me and the pastors’ wives I admire: Serving isn’t a responsibility to them. It’s not a task to be completed, a line to check off their to-do list. It’s a pleasure.

II Corinthians 9:6-15 says, “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor;
His righteousness endures forever.” He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission flowing from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others, while they long for you and pray for you, because of the surpassing grace of God upon you. Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift!”

It isn’t my schedule that needs to change. It’s my heart. I am worthless on my own, but God can do all things through me. It’s not about people seeing what I am doing for others, or where I am serving or giving of my time – it’s about others giving recognition to the God I am serving.

My mom challenged me today to truly be Christ to those I am around – to serve as Jesus did. My prayer is that God will work through me, and no matter how big or small I am able to serve, rather than seeing a 24 year-old still seeking to grow in her faith, that a lost world will hear our Mighty God whisper, “Because I love you.”

The Treasure of TRUE Beauty

In the last post, I talked about a cheerful giver. What does that look like? To me, I see smiles, joy, and laughter. A woman possessing a heart as described cannot help but radiate on the outside. Her heart is so full of God that it cannot help but manifest itself on the outside.

The Bible teaches that a joyful heart is always accompanied by a cheerful face (Prov 15:13). Similarly, Proverbs 27:19 reads, “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man.” The wisdom possessed in the heart of a worthy woman also “illumines” and causes a “stern face to beam” (Ecc 8:1). Therefore, it is easy to see how the female examples given to model biblical womanhood in Scripture are described as beautiful in physical appearance. Their actions coincide with the attributes of a beautiful heart.

For example, Rebekah was described as “very beautiful, a virgin” and immediately met the need of Isaac’s thirst (Gen 24:14;18). Purity, gentleness and compassion accentuated her lovely features.

Esther was likewise described as “beautiful of form and face.” She was also a virgin and predominantly modeled obedience to keeping God’s commands, even when faced with the possibility of losing her own life (Est 2:7; 4:16).

Sarai, the wife of Abraham, was recognized as beautiful, and Peter used her as an example of modeling Godly living with her behavior (Gen 12:11; 1 Pet 3:6).

Ultimately, the goal is not to strive to be like Esther, Rebekah, or Sarai. Rather, a biblical woman’s heart focus should be on Christ, for He is the only one who possessed these heart traits in their entirety. In one of her most well-known works, Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man must be seeking the Lord to find it.”

Elliot was referring to a romantic relationship, but the policy applies to a biblical woman’s life in general. A biblical woman lives her life in such a way that in order to grasp the depth of her beauty, one must first understand the magnificence of the Lord.

A biblical woman is worth more than jewels, so she is a rare treasure to all who come in contact with her (Prov 31:10). Just as she is a treasure, she likewise stores up for herself “treasures in heaven, where neither mouth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal” because she knows that her heart follows her treasure (Matt 6:20-21). A biblical woman’s treasure and identity is in Christ.

Lyrics to “Treasure,” a recent worship song include:

My heart is where my treasure lies.
My great reward is in Your eyes.
My every breath belongs to You.
You are my treasure.

In fairytales, treasure is frequently buried in secret. Earthly treasures are stored away, regarded as rare, but not enjoyed. However, the treasure of Christ can never be taken away, and the gift of sharing salvation is yet one other attribute that can aid in a woman’s genuine beauty in Christ.

Paul declared in Romans 10:15, “How beautiful are the feet that bring good news!” Biblical women chase guaranteed crowns in heaven by growing in beauty proclaimed by the King of Kings rather than striving for the world’s unpredictable approval. Miss America may only crown one girl each year, but God doesn’t grant first runner-up. Each of His daughters get a crown.

Seek true beauty - serve willingly and cheerfully, reflect Christ with your actions, and tell others about Him.

God Looks at the Heart

After examining what the flesh values, such as youth and appearance, Romans 12:2 reminds believers to not conform to the patterns of this world. While many parts of God’s creation are pleasing to the human eye, God’s perspective proves different.
First Samuel 16:7 explains: “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Obviously, this is not referring to the muscle that pumps blood throughout the body, but to the soul and reflection of Christ within a godly woman. First Kings 8:39 says that God is the only one who knows the hearts of all mankind. The Lord even goes as far to search “all hearts and understands every intent of the thoughts” (I Chr 28:9). The Scriptures are very detailed as to what the Lord is looking for in a beautiful heart, so God has outlined His specific checklist for being beautiful in His eyes.

Each piece of a beautiful heart is woven together with God’s clever craftsmanship within His word to describe beauty in the eyes of the supreme Beholder. Each characteristic of a beautiful heart in the Bible matches the description and instruction to worthy women in the passages God intended especially for His daughters. God created men and women equal, but He made them different and clearly defined His plan for biblical womanhood throughout His word.

Today’s recurrent message of the feminist’s “independent woman” directly contradicts the reality of God’s design and gift of femininity. The woman He desires His daughters be and the heart He favors knows His word, keeps His commands, and demonstrates love, wisdom, purity, gentleness, compassion, and humility.

First, a beautiful woman of God knows her Father’s Word. Developing intimacy with God involves spending time with Him and seeking to know Him as He knows His children. Envision a baby girl in her daddy’s arms. At this age, she can only understand His love and strength. As she gets older, she can understand him in many roles, such as her authority and her provider. A relationship with Christ is the same. By becoming familiar with His teachings, a beautiful woman can fully grasp the Heavenly Father’s teachings.

Psalm 119:11 encourages believers to treasure His word in their hearts to prevent sin. Therefore, the responsibility is more than just knowing what the Bible says. Biblical women should model His word in daily life. Deuteronomy 30:14 says, “But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may observe it.” Ultimately, women of God know what pleases and displeases their Father and respond with respect, or fear of the Lord.

A biblical woman’s fear of the Lord should be praised above charm and beauty (Prov 31:30). Earlier in the passage, it is written that a worthy woman is blessed by her children and praised by her husband (Prov 31:28). Being praised by those closest to her illustrates her authenticity. She demonstrates her fear of the Lord with “chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Pet 3:2). Only a woman who had sought to embrace her role within Scripture would be able to receive such praise.

Along with being able to discern right from wrong, a woman God would deem as beautiful accepts the duty of keeping His commands. Deuteronomy 5:29 reveals God’s desire for His children to have “such a heart in them, that they would fear Me and keep all My commandments always.” So in addition to her fear of the Lord, she desires to keep His commands always. This does not mean she keeps the commands that are easy to follow. Regardless of the level of difficulty, Abba Father has commissioned His daughters to remain faithful. As God searches a woman’s heart, He may even test her to examine her heart and her faithfulness to keep His commands (Deut 8:2).

God knows His children’s specific weaknesses, and in love, He cautions about them in His Word. While He warns man against such things as being “double-tongued or addicted to much wine,” He cautions woman against becoming “malicious gossips” (1 Tim 3:8;11, Tit 2:3). Most women can testify that this is a daily battle. Deborah Tannen, regarded as an expert in gender and linguistics, notes that women use gossip as a means of building relationships. By communicating something that she would not necessarily ever say out loud or in front of a large group, a woman discloses something personal, producing a closeness that women desire in relationships. However, God, the ultimate authority, instructs to not “associate with a gossip” (Prov 20:19). No matter the struggle, when God’s trials come, a God-fearing woman knows what He has called her to do and should follow His instruction.

According to Jesus, the greatest and foremost commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matt 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27; Deut 6:5). In the next few verses of all the New Testament passages sited above, Jesus states the second greatest commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:39). Not only does the Lord desire His daughter’s entire heart, but He desires her heart first; He longs for it to be full of His love and for her to pour out that love on others.

In His perfect plan, He uses this beautiful trait of love in His daughters so that others may come to know Him through knowing her. The challenge has often been presented to believers of examining if one were put on trial for being a Christian if there would be enough evidence for conviction. Surely, keeping the greatest commandment and possessing a loving heart would be critical evidence.

Those who choose not to keep His commands will be ruined while “the wise of heart will receive commands” (Prov 10:8). Therefore, a beautiful woman is also wise. God’s academic agenda has a completely different location and set of priorities than what man perceives as wisdom. While the world is consumed with head knowledge, God is concerned with heart knowledge. The name most associated with wisdom in the Bible is King Solomon. First Kings 3:12 shows that God gave Solomon a “wise and discerning heart” and I Kings 10:24 says “all the earth was seeking the presence of Solomon, to hear his wisdom which God had put in his heart.” Specifically, James 3:17states, “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.”

From that description, man’s definition of intelligence looks much easier in comparison. However, James 1:5 says, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” For example, the passage in Proverbs 31 referred to so many times describing a worthy woman was an intense word given to King Lemuel by his mother (Prov 31:1). This God-breathed advice comes to the hearts of women straight from the heart of none other than a biblical woman. God knew and understood the need for women to use words to build relationships; He created His daughters to be this way.

Ponder for a moment on the impact of this passage in Scripture and the detailed insight God delivered through a woman who more than likely had never received formal education. This is the type of speech that will build relationships to replace gossip among sisters in Christ! Rather than corrupted conversation that tears another down, her pure perception continues to encourage and challenge women of the Word.

Just as Paul taught Timothy years later, this king’s godly mother modeled how the goal of instruction is “love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (I Tim1:5). Purity is a distinguishing characteristic, separating beautiful women of the world from beautiful women of the Word. In the instance of the Persian kingdom of Ahasuerus, there is a distinct difference between Vashti and Esther. In old Persian, Vashti actually translates to mean “beautiful woman.” When the king sought to find a queen to replace her, he obviously desired more than physical beauty. He requested for “beautiful young virgins” to be brought to his palace (Esther 2:2). Purity set Esther apart, and accompanied with wholesomeness and modesty, it continues to separate biblical women from worldly women.

Matthew 5:8 illustrates the honor that accompanies a pure heart, revealing that the pure in heart will see God. However, John 1:18 says, “No one has seen God.” In her book on the beatitudes, Dorothy Patterson beautifully states that God’s divine character can be seen as He grants spiritual discernment. “The God who is
invisible becomes visible through the Son.” Therefore, a biblical woman realizes in order for Him to increase, she must decrease (John 3:30). Jesus is the only one to ever walk this earth without sin in His heart, so to acquire a pure heart, a beautiful woman must no longer live, but let Christ live in her (Gal 2:20). While God created physical beauty to be enjoyed, the Lord warns against beauty being marked by merely physical appearance, like Vashti.

Rather, the Father encourages “the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet 3:3-4). While external beauty is passing, her gentle spirit is permanent. Many feminists protest against the teaching of gentleness, manipulating the term to imply frailty. Rather, gentleness manifests a tender strength. “Meekness is not weakness…It is submissiveness under provocation, the willingness to suffer than to inflict injury. The meek [or gentle] person leaves everything in the hand of Him who loves and cares.” Therefore, a biblical woman puts full trust and faith in her Lord rather than trying to live life on her own.

Unbelieving (and some believing) feminists cringe at the mention of woman giving up her “right to independence” for total dependence on anyone, including God. However, a biblical and beautiful woman realizes that her God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and almighty. She trusts in the fact that she is clothed in strength that comes from the Lord. A worthy woman is bound “with strength and makes her arms strong, and she is not afraid of the snow for her household” (Prov 31:17; 21;25). Repeating themes of strength, boldness, and courage in this passage eliminate weakness from her image. She realizes she has been chosen of God and accompanies her heart of gentleness with complementing attributes, such as compassion and humility (Col 3:12). She humbles herself, recognizing that she is subservient to Almighty God. Jesus said, “Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart” (Matt 11:29). If Jesus, who possessed God’s power and lived a sinless life, responds to God in meekness, how much more should His sinful children submit to Him?

Reflect on the hours leading to Christ’s crucifixion. Jesus did not resist or fight back. As prophesied, Jesus was led like a lamb to slaughter; “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth” (Is 53:7). In place of resentment, Jesus offered compassion, requesting that God forgive them because they did not know what they were doing (Luk 23:34).

Compassion is defined as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” Scripture teaches to take this desire that comes with compassion and respond with mercy through serving and giving to God and others. Prov 31:20 describes, “She extends her hands to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy.” As a genuine and generous servant, a beautiful woman doesn’t just offer care at her convenience. She extends and stretches her hands, and she even “works with her hands in delight” (Proverbs 31:13). She goes out of her way to joyfully express sensitivity and to invest in others. As stated in 2 Corinthians 9:7, “Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

Getting Past the Mirror

Throughout history, women have sought to find identity in their physical appearance. While young boys aspire to play professional football to prove their strength, little girls dream of becoming Miss America to verify their beauty.

In the United States alone, women spend more money annually on beauty products than the nation spends on education. Over six billion dollars is spent on makeup alone. So in some distorted way, the image of beauty is fixated on a solitary crown that must be won before the age of twenty-four or pre-packaged dyes that will inevitably empty over time.

External beauty is where too many women, God-fearing women included, strive to find their value. Proverbs 31:31 is a beautiful reminder that this type of beauty fades, but eternal beauty in a relationship with God continues to develop as one grows in daily fellowship with Him. Instead of dwindling like cosmetics, biblical women can become more beautiful with each day.

In Ways of Seeing, Berger acknowledges that women live in a self-conscious world. A woman has “to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life.” He insists that this pattern is instilled from a young age, and he appears to be correct. In 1998, Exeter University conducted a study of 37,500 girls between the ages of twelve and fifteen. Over half (57.5%) listed appearance as the biggest concern in their lives.

It would be easy to blame the today’s media for this phenomenon in today’s age of airbrushing magazine photographs and misleading “beautiful” icons. A study done in 2000 even showed that the average Miss America is 12% underweight and 2% taller than the average female. Today’s culture does give out its share of mixed signals. However, society began training the general public that appearance is everything long ago. For instance, it can be traced back to 650 B.C. when King Nebuchadnezzar besieged Jerusalem. Daniel 1:4 lists the first two characteristics he desired in those he wished to take back to Babylon as youthful and good-looking.

As Andreas Köstenberger has argued, many Christian self-help books rely more on secular teachings than biblical foundations. The problem begins with the label placed on this genre of literature. Christians should not rely on “self-help” books. God is
the ultimate Helper, and He has provided answers to life problems throughout His Word. Believers simply create more conflict in life when they attempt to map a plan for themselves rather than placing trust in God. For that reason, the primary text for this series will be the Bible itself, examining it as a whole to embrace God’s definition of beauty and avoid superficial cures for false instruction from a fallen world.

Marriage: Ultimate Glorification of God

While God has chosen to use men and women to demonstrate aspects of Himself, one must never consider that God needs human beings to do His work, as Paul expressed in Acts 17:25. Instead, “all things were created through Him and for Him.” All of God’s creation exists to bring Him glory.

Many married couples bring to their relationship a view of God that is “so small instead of huge, and so marginal instead of central, and so vague instead of clear, and so impotent instead of all-determining, and so uninspiring instead of ravishing, that when they marry, the thought of living marriage to the glory of God is without meaning and without content.”

Knowing God for who He truly is, rather than who mankind selfishly wants Him to be, esteeming His glory over any personal agenda, and eliminating any disrespectful question of His plan from our impure thoughts is the only way to live our lives fully to His glory. Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”

While most of the debated New Testament passages refer to the marriage relationship, females still cannot dismiss these teachings if they are single. Not only is no one exempt from creation order, but Proverbs 31:12 says, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Since mankind is incapable of knowing what tomorrow holds, every woman who professes Christ should sumbit to the Lord, embracing her created purpose, rather than anxiously seeking a man to marry or insisting that she will never marry. Women should submit to men’s leadership over the church and the home. Adopting a serving and submissive spirit, women should pray that thier attitude, like Jesus Christ, will further reveal God to a lost world.

Likewise, the best preparation for males to handle headship like Christ is to be faithful to “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.” In an attempt to display God’s communicable attributes and mimic Christ’s love for the church, Christian men should refuse to see headship as an opportunity for dominating women, but as a chance to truly seek the Father’s wisdom for his family. More than likely, Christians will not be able to convince the media to go back to a sitcom displaying correct gender roles in the family. However, true realization that the Father knows best has the power to eliminate distorted family structures within our churches.

My Sources:

Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood, edited by Wayne Grudem

P.S. The picture above is from our wedding. James and I both treasure this moment as the most special time of our wedding day. No unity candle, no unity sand - just our closest friends and family gathered around us in a continual prayer that God will be glorified through our marriage.

True Masculinity & Femininity

Throughout Scripture, God reveals Himself using masculine terms. Egalitarians say this is another way for humans to understand God, just as He compares Himself to animals and inanimate objects. The main problem with this view is that God created males and females in His image. He did not create Himself to be like human beings. Rather, God created masculinity to augment some of His attributes and created femininity to such display others.

This does not imply that God is male or female. God is not established by gender, but by His simultaneous plurality and unity. Genesis 1:26 says, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness…” (emphasis added). As made in the Trinitarian God’s image, males and females are equal yet different.

Referring back to Ephesians 5, God has given men headship over women, just as Christ has dominion over the church. Men are not given freedom to interpret this headship position on their own. They are instructed to follow the pattern of Christ. While complementarians disagree with much of the feminist movement, most do not hold feminists as the ones who are ultimately responsible.

Rather, they attribute the feminist movement to the negligence of men to practice humble headship like Christ. One theologian notes, “I believe that if Christian men had been the servant leaders in the home, rather than conceited chauvinists, the feminist movement would have died a quick and easy death…I am tired of hearing that feminists are responsible for the breakdown of the family. We need to put the responsibility where it belongs – on the heads of homes.”

Women are just as guilty of not being obedient to their created purpose. “God created woman to directly reflect the man’s headship authority by recognizing it, revealing it, submitting to it, receiving it, and supporting his leadership.” More often, women end up ignoring it, resenting it, rebuking it, disobeying it, and discouraging male leadership.

Appalling feminists everywhere, I Corinthians 11:7 describes women as “the glory of men.” But where is the egalitarian objection that Jesus was sent to glorify the Father? Each time a groom beams as his bride walks down the aisle, Christians should be reminded of the Father’s words from heaven: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Each time a woman gives birth to a child, this miracle should serve as a reminder that eternal life can only come from the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Egalitarians dismiss many of the gender-related passages with an “ad hoc” argument, meaning that they believe these passages were written out of historical circumstance and only refer to the original audience. Due to the mention of head coverings, I Corinthians 11 is a passage egalitarians often disregard theologically. However, because of Paul’s use of the Trinity, an omnipresent deity, there is no way to interpret this as simply cultural wisdom.

While most complementarians agree that this passage does not indicate women today must wear a hat at all times, the cultural implications should remain. “Wearing a head covering communicated a submissive demeanor and a feminine adornment.” Therefore, as women pray or prophesy in public, they must communicate their support for male headship with appropriate conduct and mannerisms.

Teaching Scripture within biblical parameters includes more than just following the Titus 2 mandate of only teaching women. Women should seek to be earnest expositors of God’s Word without emasculating their God-given feminine characteristics. Women were created “to be reverent in their behavior” and embody an “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

Titus 2:4-5 lays out the curriculum for older women to teach younger women to work at home and love their husbands and children, while pursuing purity, wisdom and kindness to uphold the commands in Scripture. This does not mean women are to deliver emotionally driven and spiritually shallow messages. Simply, there are some things God knew pastors, as men, would not be able to teach from the pulpit with the same effect as a biblical woman who has been there.

My Sources:

Discovering Biblical Equality: Complementarity without Hierarchy, edited by Ronald W. Pierce and Rebecca Merrill Groothuis

"God, Gender, and Biblical Metaphor (Chapter 16) by Judy L. Brown," by H. Wayne House in the Journal of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

20 Controversies that Almost Killed a Church by Richard L. Ganz

Men and Women: Equal Yet Different by Alexander Strauch

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by Wayne Grudem and John Piper

For further discussion on the difference between prophecy and teaching, see Wayne Grudem, “Prophecy—Yes, But Teaching—No: Paul’s Consistent Advocacy of Women’s Participation Without Governing Authority,” The Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society 30 (1987): 11-23.

God Is Purposeful & Impartial

With feminism, the issue at stake goes beyond women desiring to work outside of the home and resenting the Biblical mandate to submit to their husbands. Psalm 19:1-6 describes how every part of creation reveals the knowledge of God’s existence. Human beings are God’s supreme creation created in His image. Logically, God’s general revelation should manifest itself most clearly through humanity.

Feminism has essentially blurred some of God’s self-disclosure by human neglect to follow the example set by the divine Trinity. Just as some males try to exercise overbearing authority over women, some women spend their entire lives attempting to eliminate any undermining of their gender.

Paul wrote of God’s manifold wisdom and “eternal purpose.” God has never altered the initial plan He implemented in creation. Beginning in Genesis, there is significant timing when God declared man as the leader by creating him first. Then, He created Eve to be a helper to Adam when He acknowledged that it was not good for man to be alone. Before the fall, God clearly defined the roles He desired for men and women in the perfect world, and His opinion did not change after the fall.

Even though woman sinned first, God rebuked Adam before Eve. Ultimately, God held Adam responsible. After Adam’s judgment, God declares in Genesis 3:16 to Eve that her “desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.” God warned society at the very beginning that there would be a power struggle between males and females.

However, in Genesis 2, God did not tell Eve to help Adam whenever she felt like it. Rather, Eve’s purposeful existence was to serve as Adam’s helper. God’s creative design for humanity still consists of male leadership in the home and in the church.

Revelation 19:11-16 describes Jesus, seated on a white horse, with eyes like fire, a sharp sword in his mouth, and an iron rod in his hand to rule over the nations. Followed by the armies of heaven, Jesus is declared the King of kings and Lord of lords. Yes, Jesus’ role as the Son is different from the Father’s, but in no way does this passage depict Jesus to be any less God than the Father.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the woman who fears the Lord as anything but weak or worthless. God did not elevate Himself above His Son, and Jesus did not attempt to be greater than God. Unfortunately, males and females cannot make similar claims.

The Danger of A Personal Agenda

As early as Eve in the Garden of Eden, feminism’s true quest has been for superiority. Carolyn McCulley says, “One woman decided that God’s boundaries and definition for her weren’t good…The seeds of feminism are, ‘I want what I want,’ ‘I want to define it how I want it,’ and ‘I don’t want to give God the glory.’” The desired object may no longer involve the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The desire to become one’s own God, however, seems to be like a ribbon flowing throughout history that Satan uses to pull people away from God. There is natural rebellion against the prophet Isaiah’s words that God’s ways are higher than man’s ways, and His thoughts are higher than human thoughts.

Recognizing that it was “not good for man to be alone,” God made a “helper fit for him” by creating Eve. In The Feminist Mystique, Betty Friedan tells countless tales of women who feel oppressed by the stereotypical image of females. One woman insists she loves her husband, children and home, but feels she has no personality. She says, “I’m a server of food and a putter-on of pants and a bedmaker, somebody who can be called on when you want something. But who am I?” Selfishly wanting success in some form other than in the family she claims to love, this woman’s personal agenda, like many others, prevents her from flourishing in the Father’s purpose for her life. This is hardly a twentieth century struggle.

James 3:14-16 says, “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

This is exactly what has happened in the world today. Resentment of the created purpose of males and females has created the muddle of effeminate men, manly females, and transgenders. The same bitterness produces depraved habits including homosexuality and pornography. One theologian evaluated the cost of feminism “cannot be measured by MasterCard, for some things are priceless. It is measured in the fifty percent divorce rate, the destruction of the family unity, the elimination of forty million unborn children, and the proliferation of pornography, and its ugly cousin, sexually transmitted diseases.”

What if Jesus Christ had come to earth with a personal agenda? Not only was He brought into the world with the incomprehensible task of living a sinless life and dying for humanity’s sin, but He was also the only One to never question the Father’s authority. Praying in the Garden of Gethsemane before He was crucified, Jesus said, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

Though he was fully God, He knew that His role was to be submissive to the Father. According to Paul, Jesus “did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”

Christ’s task was much more demoralizing than making a few beds or cooking a few meals. Realizing the cross that was before him, human logic can see how easy it could have been for Jesus to resent that the Father did not choose him to build the ark like Noah, part the Red Sea like Moses, or ride a chariot of fire to heaven like Elijah. However reasonable this thought is, Paul shares reality in Philippians 2:8. Jesus “humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death.”

Jesus Christ could have used His deity to climb down from the cross. He could have fought back. He had the power, but he refused to use it, because He sought to fulfill the lifelong covenant that God made with Abraham. Andreas J. Kostenberger argues marriage is a comparable covenant “because it is rooted in creation and the will of the Creator Himself.”

I Corinthians 12:9-10 should encourage married couples to seek God’s sufficient grace and power made perfect in weakness rather than divorce. Paul writes, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Works Cited:

The Feminist Mystique by Betty Friedan

"Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and The Contemporary Collapse of Sexual Moral," by Peter Jones - (http://www.cbmw.org/images/articles_pdf/jones_peter/sexualmorals.pdf)

Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by Carolyn McCulley

The Strength of Submission

Since the days of Tertullian, the Church has believed that the Father, Son, and Spirit are God. They are one, but there are also distinctions among them. Jesus Christ, the Son, came to earth to complete the will of the Father. Though Jesus was obedient to the Father, He has always been viewed as equally God and equally essential to Christianity. A.H. Strong says, “The subordination of the person of the Son to the person of the Father, or in other words an order of personality, office, and operation which permits the Father to be officially first, the Son second, and the Spirit third, is perfectly consistent with equality. Priority is not necessarily superiority.”

Prior to the gender debate, most evangelicals were in agreement concerning the doctrine of the Trinity. In fact, when the Evangelical Theological Society (ETS) attempted to set the margins of its doctrinal basis to capture a broad audience, they decided on the inerrancy of Scripture and basic views of the Trinity as the society’s core concerns. The ETS statement reads: "The Bible alone, and the Bible in its entirety, is the Word of God written and is therefore inerrant in the autographs. God is a Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each an uncreated person, one in essence, equal in power and glory."

As complementarians began capturing the illustration of gender roles and the Trinity, the views of evangelical feminists began to change. Egalitarians insist that complementarians hold the heretical view of subordination. However, complementarians do not condone an ontological difference between the Father and the Son. I Corinthians 15:28 says, “When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to Him who put all things in subjection under Him, that God may be all in all.”

Jesus’ voluntary obedience to the Father did not make Him inferior in essence, but gave the Father priority of authority. Taking away equality or role differences between the Father, the Son and the Spirit essentially abandons the Trinity, which is the center of the Christian faith. Herman Bavick went as far to say, “In the confession of the Trinity throbs the heart of the Christian religion: every error results from, or upon deeper reflection may be traced to, a wrong view of this doctrine.”

Complementarians were not first to draw this comparison. I Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” Paul quickly establishes three headship relationships exist between Christ and man, man and woman, and God and Christ. As Paul notes these relationships, he shows that Jesus Christ is the example for both genders, as He is submissive to the Father but also the head over man. The headship and submissive roles assigned to men and women in creation offer the ideal opportunity for both genders to apply Scripture’s teaching to strive after Christ’s righteousness.

A similar passage in Ephesians 5:24-25 says, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ loved the church through times of obedience and rebellion, and He died to cover all human sin. Yet, feminists frequently scrutinize these passages by saying the Bible’s “hierarchy created about the whole love life of woman an atmosphere of degradation.” In this passage, redemption resonates far above restriction, and salvation outweighs subjection. Headship and submission were never created, but have always existed in the nature of God Himself.

In Woman and the New Race, Margaret Sanger, a feminist best known for initiating the birth control movement through the establishment of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, insisted that with the world of women’s liberation: "There will come a Plato who will be understood, a Socrates who will drink no hemlock, and a Jesus who will not die upon the cross." What Sanger thought was a statement of deliverance was nothing less than condemnation of the entire human race.

The core of Christianity can be summarized by submission. If Jesus had refused to die on the cross and submit to the Father’s plan, both males and females would be left without the hope of redemption. Instead, “the ultimate and telling proof that equality and submission may coexist in glorious harmony is found in the mediatorial mission of the Son of God…who completed it in the true liberation of submission to His Father.”

Further explanation...

Tertullian: an early church father who was the first to name the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit in the term "the Trinity'

Subordination: This is best referred to as putting yourself under someone else's authority (Ex - Children are subordinate to their parents, Humans are subordinate to God).

Complementarian: This is the view that I believe: God created men and women equally, but he also gave them different gender-defined roles. (Males - Husband, Father, Provider, Protector; Females - Wife, Mother, Nurturer). Check out more at http://www.cbmw.org

Egalitarian: also referred to as evangelical feminists, this group believes that one's gender does not determine role or status in life, nor does it limit spiritual giftedness and ministry opportunities. Essentially, they believe the only differences between males and females are physical. You can learn more on their website: http://www.cbeinternational.org

Headship: Humble, loving leadership, such as Christ's love and authority over the church

Submission: Humble, serving respect, such as Jesus' obedience to the Father's plan for His death on the cross for the forigiveness of sin

My Sources:

An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine: Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem

The Hermeneutics of Doctrine by Anthony C. Thiselton,

Systematic Theology by Augustus H. Strong

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by Wayne Grudem and John Piper

Men and Women: Equal Yet Different by Alexander Strauch

Does Father Really Know Best?

Disclaimer: These next few blogs are going to cover the topic I've been writing this semester for Systematic Theology. Though it might be a little more scholarly than my normal blogging style, the truths I discovered through my research are too important to leave as an assignment. In addition to praying for divine intervention, at the bottom of each post, I'm going to do my best to include definitions of any term that may be unfamiliar. Feel free to post comments asking questions, and I will do my best to respond. As always, thanks for reading and allowing me to share my heart with you.

From 1954-1960, television brought an idealized family into American homes through Father Knows Best. Though the children were not always perfectly behaved, disagreements were always settled by the end of the 30-minute program, primarily due to rational advice of the father, Jim. In just 50 years, American culture has shifted from a father who knows best to fathers including: Homer Simpson of The Simpson’s, who knows nothing; Tim Taylor of Home Improvement, who knows everything about tools, cars, and the emergency room; and Doug Heffernan of King of Queens and Ray Barone of Everybody Loves Raymond, whose wives know everything for them.

Though initial feminist efforts by pioneers such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton sought restoration of equal rights for women, the feminist quest did not end with equal rights nor stay within political realms. The gender debate has not only found its way into television scripts, but inside the doors of evangelical Christian churches. Some churches have called females to serve as senior pastors, an office I Timothy 2:12 mandates for males. A recent translation of Scripture, Today’s New International Version, eliminates masculine language from the Bible, which at times, significantly alters the meaning of the text. The gender controversy today runs much deeper than equal rights.

Genesis 1:27 says God created males and females in His own image. Therefore, human beings can best learn about themselves by seeking to know the nature of God. Wayne Grudem writes that “there are no differences in deity, attributes, or essential nature between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Each person is fully God and has all the attributes of God. The only distinctions between the members of the Trinity are in the ways they relate to each other and to creation.” Addressing submission, personal agenda, and impartial purpose, these next few blogs will examine how the doctrine of the Trinity reveals the Father knows best in His created purpose for both males and females.