Innocent but Charged AND Guilty but Free

Yesterday, when I checked the mail, I had no idea how it would affect my next 24 hours. It seemed pretty standard. Some coupons, an advertisement, a few bills....and at the bottom of the stack, a letter to me from the City of Arlington. (Back story: In late January, I was pulled over for having out-of-state tags. Since I am one credit hour short of being a full-time student, James and I had to go ahead and become Texas residents. We got our vehicles inspected and got new titles and registration at the DMV. Since we turned in our paperwork on time, we went back to our normal routine.) I figured this letter would be a receipt for that transaction.

But it wasn't. It was a warrant for my arrest.

Seriously.

Apparently when we turned out stuff in to the court, we faxed a copy of my registration and sent in a photo of my new Texas plates by mail. Though we were told they could be received separately, somewhere, things got crossed, and the city of Arlington didn't show that I had proof of registration. They only had photos.

No warning. No courtesy phone call. Just a warrant for my arrest. (With a $500 bail fee.)

Normally, I think I might have been able to have a sense of humor about this. But with graduation a month away and pressing school deadlines, a busy season with my job, and not to mention, the week of Easter when I'm married to a pastor....there is not extra time in my week right now to deal with anything else. There is nothing funny about this.

By this time, it was already 5pm, so the court was closed for the day. Ironically, I just had to go to praise team rehearsal (you know, where most criminals go) and wait it out until this morning.

More back story. In addition to getting my Texas plates, we also had to get our Texas driver's licenses. Well, my Tennessee license still had my maiden name on it....and while my license still had my maiden name, I couldn't change my social security card because the names on both cards are supposed to be the same. (By the way, both offices want you to get the OTHER one changed first. It's a blast.) So, I filed to get a new social security card, and it finally came in the mail. Now, I could get my Texas license.

Except I didn't just get to fill out the transfer license form. Because you see, in the time period of waiting on my new social security card to get here, my license expired...and the state of Texas doesn't even give one day's grace period. If you have an expired license, you have to start all over again. So like a 15-year-old, I had to take the written driver's exam. PLUS, I had to make an appointment to come back and take the actual DRIVING test...which was schedule for today.

Do I need to remind you that there's a warrant for my arrest?

So this morning, I get together all of my life documents, and James and I head to the driver's license office for me to take my exam. I arrive at 7:30, get the first appointment for 8:30, and we waited. The examiner comes out to my car, asks for my insurance, and I hand it over.

It expired on March 28.

Today is March 31.

REALLY?! What insurance expires on the 28th of the month?!

So, I go back inside, make my second appointment for 10:15am, and James and I go to his office so State Farm can fax us an updated copy of our insurance.

While we're waiting on that, I decide to call the warrant office. Guess what? They need proof that my car was covered on the day that I was pulled over. We call and get that faxed to us as well.

Our insurance agent sent us the right insurance...but for the wrong vehicle. Take 2.

Around 10am, we head back to the driver's license test with updated insurance and even MORE forms. Trying to be calm, I go through the practical driving exam....even suffer through parallel parking, although I was really tempted when he asked me to parallel park to step out of my car and yell, "JAMES!" (Because that's REALLY how I parallel park.)

I pass. Whew. One thing out of the way. It's around 11am now, and we headed down to the Arlington Municipal Court. After waiting in line, I hand the woman behind the counter all of the documentation that I have and explain my case.

"Oh, well, you need to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and pay your penalty fee for getting a ticket," she says.

"Which is?" I ask.

"We show that you paid for your ticket when you sent in the photo of your new plates, but you have to pay a penalty fee to the DMV. It will probably be about $10."

If I wasn't frustrated before, now I'm REALLY feeling it. If I needed to go to the DMV first, why in the world would the form send me to the Municipal Court?!

I wasn't going to get anywhere by arguing, so James and I just drove to the DMV, paid our $8.15 penalty fee, and drove back to the court. More waiting.

On a positive note, I got a phone call while we were waiting that the fax of my proof of insurance went through. There is no longer a warrant for my arrest at this point. Awesome....glad to know I'm no longer a criminal since I did everything to follow through on my end in the first place!

At this point, I've gathered quite a stack of paperwork. After giving the woman behind the counter what seemed like 15 different documents, she was finally satisfied. Writing one more check for the day, James and I walked out. Now, it's a little after noon, and we are both exhausted.

After arriving home, I couldn't help but think about how much time was wasted this morning. IF the city had called me to let me know they were missing documentation. IF the social security office hadn't given me such a hard time about not having changed my license first. IF the driver's license office had let me renew my license on time without waiting for my new social security card to come in. IF my car insurance card had been valid just three more days. IF they had told me to pay the penalty fee at the DMV before I drove to the courthouse...etc, etc, etc.

I finally just broke down and cried. Tears of frustration. Tears of guilt for wasting my husband's morning during a busy week. Tears of exhaustion. Tears of being treated like a criminal when I had done nothing wrong.

Realizing I wasn't going to get anywhere with my day until I stopped to pray for patience, I felt my Savior ask, "Michelle, how do you think it felt when you did that to me?"

Because he was charged for a crime that he didn't commit. Not just any crime. My crime. Your crime.

He was arrested....betrayed by one of his best friends...while he was praying. He went before Caiaphas, the high priest. That wasn't enough. He then appeared before Pilate. He was beaten. The crowd spit on him. His closest friends denied they even knew Him. The crowd chose to release a murderer into society instead of releasing Jesus. The very people that He came to save were shouting, "CRUCIFY HIM!"

They humiliated him. They put him through an excruciating death.

But Jesus wasn't frustrated. With humility that I cannot even grasp, He pleaded to his Father, "Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34).

Jesus wasn't just talking about the crowd who was gathered around the cross when He spoke those words. We've all sinned. We all fall short of God's glory. (Romans 3:23). I may not have physically driven the nails into his hands, but it was my sin that nailed Jesus to that cross. I am guilty. I deserve death.

But I'm free. When Christ suffered for my sin, it was so He could bring me to God - the righteous for the unrighteous. (1 Peter 3:18).There's no penalty fee waiting for us on this earth. There's no outstanding warrant waiting for us when we get to heaven.

If we simply confess that we are sinners, that Jesus came and lived a sinless life as an atonement for our sins, and believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved. (Romans 10:9-10).

As frustrating as the past 24 hours have been, I am so thankful that I got a fresh touch from God today. Yet another reminder of why my life is not about me...but about Him - and that He receives the glory for my life.

It is my deepest desire that everyone have the assurance that Christ's death covered your sins ONCE and for ALL....if you just believe in Him. After you believe in Him, you start to walk with HIm...because whoever says He lives in Christ must walk as Jesus did. (1 John 2:6). It is the journey of a lifetime....with a final destination more glorious than the greatest imagination.

I hope the lyrics to Chris Tomlin's "My Chains Are Gone" have a new meaning for you as we approach our Savior's death and resurrection this weekend. Please leave a comment on this post if you have questions about what it means to have a personal relationship with Christ. There's nothing I would rather do than tell you about our Savior.

"My chains are gone.
I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood His mercy reigns.
Unending love, Amazing grace."

Expanding the Harvest

Matthew 9:37-38
"Then He [Jesus] said to His disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Therefore, beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into the harvest."

I grew up with a dad who is a minister of music. Now, I'm married to a young adults' pastor. I don't know what it's like to live life when your family works outside the realm of ministry. I've spent so much time in the churches were my dad and husband previously and currently serve, I'm pretty sure I could walk through the buildings blindfolded, giving detailed descriptions of what I was passing.

I've taught Sunday School, children's choir, youth Bible study and women's discipleship groups. I've been a member of church choirs, praise teams and the youth orchestra (even though, I'm pretty sure my flute playing wasn't much more than a joyful noise.) I've made phone calls to visitors, written articles for church magazines, changed diapers in the nursery, stacked chairs, decorated the atrium for holidays, washed communion dishes and counted heads on youth camp buses.

Knowing the audience of incredible Christian women that read this blog, as a general rule, I'm pretty certain most of you can identify with me. There probably aren't many roles of service at the church you haven't participated in at one point in your life.

First of all, let me say that serving God inside His house has always been and will always be an important part of my life. It is my personal conviction to never be a "benchwarmer" at my church. I always want to be active in at least one of my church's ministries. But today, as I was reading these verses, I couldn't help but think, "When Jesus talked about the harvest, he wasn't just talking about serving the church."

How do I serve God by my interactions with my family?

How do I serve God at my job?

How do I serve God in the city where I live?

How do I serve God by the treatment I give the people He puts in my life?

Whether you refer to it as the pareto principle, the 80-20 rule or the law of the vital few, we see similar statistics in the church: Twenty percent of the church does 80% of the work, in reference to serving, tithing, etc. Of course, every church is different, and we'll never really know the accuracy of this estimate. But I wonder - if you stepped down from one of your volunteer positions at your church, wouldn't that provide someone else with the opportunity to step up?

When I moved to Texas, I was concerned about the holes I was leaving at my home church. Particularly, I felt like I was abandoning our student ministry, leaving them without a female intern and short-handing our worship ministry without a praise team member and frequent soloist. I can't believe I thought so highly of myself that I doubted God would provide someone to fill my shoes.

But guess what? God did send others in my place. My home church never skipped a beat. In fact, whenever I visit and I talk to those who are serving where I previously did, I can see not only how blessed the ministries I left behind are, but I see how blessed those serving in my place have been....just as I was when I was serving there.

So if you find yourself having the "yes disease," with a plate full of service already, here's some advice I got from one of my mentors: "The next time you are approached with a new ministry to serve in, instead of dwelling on potentially saying that dreaded word 'no,' perhaps you should think of it as an opportunity for someone else to be blessed to say, 'yes.'"

Our God does incredible things. He is very much alive and active in today' world. Let's imagine that the pareto principle is true within the church. Can you imagine what more the church could do for our awesome if the workers expanded to 21%? Maybe 30%? What about 50%?

Along the same lines, if you relinquished some of your volunteer responsibilities within the church walls, would that open up other opportunities in your life to go into the harvest? Could you start a Bible study among your co-workers? Could you create a prayer group with ladies in your neighborhood? Would you just have an open evening in your schedule so you could have a family who is struggling financially over for dinner?

My prayer this morning is that I would be open to the Spirit's leading, wherever God would call me to serve - whether inside the church or outside of it. One thing I am certain: There is plenty of work to be done, and my desire is to be one of the workers and faithfully pray for God to send more.

I made HER.

I made HER…

I made her…she is different. She’s unique.

With love, I formed her in her mother’s womb.

I fashioned her with great joy.

I remember with great pleasure, the day I created her.

(Psalm 139:13-16)

I love her smile. I love her crazy ways. I love to hear her laugh.

I love the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure.

This is how I made her.

(Psalm 139:17)

I wanted her to search out her heart.

I wanted her to learn that it is ME in her that makes her beautiful…

And it is ME in her that others find precious.

(1 Peter 3:3-5)

I made her in such a way that she would need Me.

I make her a little more lonesome at times than she would like to be…

Only because I need for her to learn and depend on Me….

I know her heart, and I know if I had not made her like this,

She would go on her own chosen way and forget me…Her Creator.

(Psalm 62:5-8)

I love giving her things in her life that she enjoys,

And I protect her, even when she doesn’t know I’m there,

Because I love her.

(Psalm 84:11)

Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart.

The tears she thought she cried alone, I was there crying with her.

My heart was breaking too.

(Psalm 56:8)

Many times, she thought she stumbled and fell alone.

I was there, but she would not hold My Hand.

She learns so many lessons the hard way

Because so often, she refuses to listen to My voice…

(Isaiah 53:6)

So many times, I sit back

And sadly, I watch her go her merry way alone,

Only to have her, sad and broken, return to My open arms.

(Isaiah 62:2)

I am constantly reshaping her and molding her,

To renew her to the plans I have for her.

It hasn’t always been the easiest path.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

But I still want her conformed to My image…

I have set high goals for her,

Because I love her.

(II Corinthians 2:14)

I have gotten rid of everything she used to be,

And made her completely new.

(II Corinthians 5:17)

She thinks she knows what I have in store for her,

But my purpose is greater than she could ever imagine.

(Proverbs 19:21)

She has to wait on My timing,

But with Me by her side, she will soar above all of life’s storms.

(Isaiah 40:31)

But she is mine.

I bought her for a price much higher than she ever deserved.

And I did it gladly… Because I love her.

(Romans 5:8)

You won't find these translations of these Scripture verses anywhere else. I was introduced to this by a friend. I changed a few words from the original, and I have continued to add verses along as I read things in God's Word that directly speak to me. Personalizing His promises to me help me remember His Word. Please feel free to comment and add verses that speak to you that you think others will benefit from. (The picture on this post is me with my niece Katelyn. This was the first time we met.)

A Day in the Life

I came across an old journal this morning, and I was reminded of this lesson God taught me about two years ago. It's one that I forget often. As a reminder to myself, I've decided to pass along this story to you...

September 19, 2007

This morning, I woke up in a panic. As you know, I’m a little crazy, and I work out really early in the morning. Well, on Wednesday mornings, I actually teach a class at the gym that starts at 5:30. Normally, I wake up 30 minutes before the class starts, and that gives me plenty of time to get awake and get to the gym. But when I woke up this morning, I didn’t see the :00 that I am used to seeing. I saw :18.

Needless to say, I wigged out. (Again, no surprise there. Interruptions to my routine are not welcome.) I jumped out of bed, threw on my gym clothes, ran to the bathroom, put my contacts in, put some Scope in my mouth that I assume I spit out at some point, but come to think of it...I might have swallowed it...and flew out the door. It was record speed for me, no doubt, but I was still going to be pushing it to get there on time.

I drove to the gym and immediately began praying upon getting in the car. You know the prayer drill that you go through when you’re late for something. “Please give me all green lights. Don’t let me run into any cops." Plus, there's my all-time favorite: "God, if there’s a front row parking spot, it won’t hurt my feelings." The entire time, I kept glancing at the clock, watching as :23 turned to :24...to :25. (You get the picture.)

I rolled into the gym (and into my front row parking spot, I might add) just as I watched the minute turn to :29. Puzzled, I ran into the gym. The parking lot sure was empty, and mid-week at that time of the day, the gym is usually already bumping. The 5 am crowd is hardcore. Seriously. They don't play any games. Usually when I get there ten minutes before my class, there’s already a line waiting to get in the door.

There wasn’t anyone at the front desk, but I went around to the back and got the key to the Cycle room. I walked (OK, OK, you’re right, I ran!) up the stairs, and found that there was no line. There was one lady on the treadmill and a few guys doing weights. Where was everyone??

I searched around for the nearest clock, and that was when I saw it.

12:29.

Yeah, I got up and drove to the gym at midnight.

Now, in my defense, the security alarm at the house I am living at is acting up, and it beeped at 12:18…sounding very much like my alarm clock. But it was still very much a security alarm and not an alarm clock.

On the way home, (Yeah, I mean, I’m a fitness fanatic and all, but I DID have to come back to the gym and teach just 5 hours later. I was NOT going to stay and work out at 12:30.) I began making excuses much like the one above as to WHY I had done this:

"I didn't have time to double check the clock."

"I didn't feel any more tired than I normally do when my alarm goes off."

"It's just as dark at 5 am as it is at midnight."

"At least I wasn't late."

Etc., etc., etc.

Then, I began to get mad at myself. Why in the world did I not look at the hour and just focus on the minute? If I had just examined the clock a little closer, I would have saved myself a lot of stress, some gas in my car, and definitely gotten a little more sleep.

Before laying down to go back to sleep, I had a realization. I do the same thing in my Christian life.

How many times is what God really wants me to do right in front of my face, and I continue to ignore it? I focus on the details (just like I narrowed in on the minutes) rather than the big picture. I wonder if I'm sometimes too busy studying God at seminary to spend time with Him. Or if I'm more concerned with having enough food at a college event than I am making sure that every student who shows up get some love and attention.

Here's the big one though:

And just like the beeping security alarm sounded like my own alarm clock, do I listen to the wrong voice and mistaken it for God’s voice? Do I listen to the things that I WANT to hear God say rather than what He is actually saying?

I got up that morning again at the right time when my alarm went off. I taught my class, letting them laugh at me for what I had done at midnight. I listened to the right alarm, got up at the right time, and I was on time and prepared for the task ahead.

After getting back from the gym, I sat down to have my devotional time with God and read in Proverbs 19.

Proverbs 19:21 stood out. It says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."


So here's our lesson: Let's not get so caught up in the craziness that we call life that we miss true Life and His purpose for us.

Aren't you glad that you didn't have to get up twice this morning to learn that? :)